hey everyone, been a bit quiet lately, just wading through stuff over here. rosa just turned 10 months and last weekend we had a small thing with my family. my aunt carol, bless her heart, kept telling me how amazing i looked and how i’d ‘get my body back in no time.’ she meant well, i know she did. but i just kept nodding and smiling while inside i was screaming, what body?
this is my body right now. it’s the one that grew a whole person, that still hauls 20+ lbs of baby around all day, that’s up half the night, that can barely make it through a vet tech shift w/o a triple shot espresso. i guess i just get tired of the implication that this current body, the one that’s literally still doing the work of solo motherhood, isn’t enough or isn’t right. it’s not like i’m sitting around thinking about my old jeans, i’m trying to figure out how to pay for daycare and get 5 hours of sleep.
my shoulders ache from carrying rosa, my back sometimes screams when i bend over. it feels like such a disconnect b/w what people see and what my body is actually doing. and honestly, as a solo mom, there’s no one else to share the physical load with, so this body is really all i’ve got. does anyone else feel that pressure or those comments about ‘getting back to normal’ when your normal is just so radically different now?