man, weaning guilt is just hitting different right now. baby is 14 wks pp and i’m so tired. like, really really tired. my nipples feel like sandpaper and i’m just so touched out all the time.
i’ve been trying to track feedings and pump sessions and honestly looking at those charts in careclinic, even the dark mode ones, just makes me feel… exhausted. but then i look at her little face while she’s nursing and it feels like i’m failing her if i even think about stopping. my mil keeps asking if i’m still giving her ‘the good stuff’ every time she calls.
i know she means well but it just adds to it. i tried to combo-feed a little this week, just one bottle a day, and she took it fine, but then i felt this huge lump in my throat like i was abandoning her or something. it’s so dumb. i’m sitting here at 3 am, trying to get another letdown, and all i can think is ‘i just want my body back.’ but then the guilt washes over me like a wave.
like, why can’t i just keep going? why do i feel this way? does anyone else just feel this overwhelming sadness and shame when they even consider weaning?