hey everyone, been a minute. things are still… a lot, you know? niall is 15 months now, and my brain feels like a sieve mostly.
i’ve been wrestling with this weird, persistent anxiety lately, the kind that creeps in during those quiet moments when he’s finally asleep and i should be resting. it’s not the sharp, panic-attack kind, more like a dull hum of dread that’s getting harder to ignore. so i finally talked to my OB about it. she was great, really listened, and suggested starting a low dose of an SSRI.
she was reassuring about the safety data for breastfeeding, said it’s something many moms do successfully and that the benefits to my mental health would outweigh potential risks for him. she even gave me some literature to look over, which i mostly skimmed because i was just relieved to have a plan. then i brought it up to his pediatrician at his 15-month check-up, just as a heads-up, and his reaction was… different.
he was much more cautious, almost immediately saying he’d prefer i didn’t take anything while breastfeeding, citing the lack of long-term studies on infants. he suggested non-pharmacological approaches first, which, fine, i’m trying those, but the anxiety feels like it’s already past the point where chamomile tea is going to cut it. i’m kind of caught in the middle here, feeling like i have to choose between my doctor’s recommendation and my pediatrician’s caution. my OB is the one who managed my pregnancy and knows my history, but the pediatrician is the expert on niall’s health.
it’s frustrating when they don’t seem to be on the same page. i keep thinking about the studies my OB mentioned, but then the pediatrician’s worried tone echoes in my head. i just want to feel like myself again, and i want to do what’s best for niall. i’ve started logging my moods and symptoms in careclinic, mostly so i don’t forget what i feel like day-to-day, but it doesn’t help much with this decision.
has anyone else worked through this kind of disagreement between specialists about medication while breastfeeding? how did you decide?