It all began when I went in for my annual physical. I had only ever given oral sex and had never received it, nor had I engaged in genital-to-genital contact with anyone. During the appointment, my doctor suggested a full STD screening, which I agreed to, even though I was confident I didn’t have any infections. They drew my blood and sent it to the lab. While most results came back normal, I tested positive for both HSV1 and HSV2. I had suspected I was HSV1 positive since childhood, when I would occasionally get cold sores. However, I had never had a cold sore since then and was not particularly surprised by the HSV1 diagnosis. What truly shocked me was the HSV2 result. My HSV1 antibody level was 44.00, and my HSV2 result was 1.24, which is borderline positive. Despite not having any symptoms of STDs, BV, or yeast infections, this diagnosis deeply affected my mental health.
I fell into a deep depression. I was so repulsed by the news that I went without showering for a week. Every time I cried, I experienced severe itching, which I initially attributed to HSV2. However, this turned out to be unrelated. I felt immense anger towards myself and my parents. My conservative upbringing, combined with my mother’s lack of discussion about sexual health despite being a physician, left me unprepared. I didn’t even know one could contract herpes through oral sex, and my education at a Catholic school, which opposed contraception, didn’t help. I believed that I would never find love and felt unworthy of it, having never been in a relationship. I lost about 10 pounds and cried daily for a month. Slowly emerging from my depression, I began researching HSV2, understanding the importance of disclosure, and learning how to protect others.
A few weeks after my diagnosis, I developed symptoms like paper-cut-like fissures, itching, and very watery discharge. A gynecologist diagnosed me with a yeast infection, which made me question whether my previous symptoms were indeed HSV2-related or simply a yeast infection.
Months later, I discovered the Western Blot Test offered by the University of Washington, which had a reputation for identifying false positives. Given my score of 1.24, which was just above the threshold for a high chance of false positives, I decided to get the test. Although it cost me around $450 in total, including blood draw and shipping fees, I felt it was worth it for my peace of mind. The result was negative for HSV2 and positive for HSV1, which I had expected. I learned that a high HSV1 count could interfere with HSV2 results, which seemed to be the case for me.
Since learning about my false positive result, I’ve maintained my decision to wait until marriage to have sex. This experience has deepened my understanding of STDs and highlighted the prevalence of false positive herpes tests. I believe that even if I had tested positive for HSV2, I would still be as content as I am today. This journey has shown me that herpes is manageable and not as daunting as it might initially seem, as long as one takes the right precautions.