been tracking symptoms the past few months and noticed something that won’t leave me alone. when i’m in a proper flare, depression makes sense - can’t work, constant pain, the whole thing. but during good weeks when the pain scale drops and i’m getting full shifts, my mood still crashes. fwiw like my brain won’t let me have the win. i think it’s anticipation. i start waiting for the next flare before it happens.
the fear of it coming back is doing as much damage as the pain itself. my pain clinic shrugged and mentioned PT for mood, but that feels like they’re missing what’s actually happening here. some weeks i’m not even in a bad flare but the dread makes everything worse. anyone else deal with this? is the anticipatory depression part of fibromyalgia or more about how we cope with it?