I’ve been in a committed relationship for almost five years, and we’re planning to get married and have kids one day. Two weeks ago, I went to the doctor because I thought I’d gotten a really bad infection from a small nick while shaving (possibly from a rusty razor, yeast infection from my soap, or too much sweating—I wasn’t sure). The doctor told me it wasn’t an infection, but a herpes sore near the nick. We got it tested, and I came back positive for herpes.
I’ve only had three sexual partners, including my current partner, and my partner has only been with me. The doctor said it most likely came from one of my past partners, as the virus can remain dormant for years before showing symptoms. I told my partner, and he got tested. His results showed that he has been exposed to the herpes virus but doesn’t currently have it, which was a relief but also confusing. How could he be negative if I’ve had the virus—potentially for over five years—and we’ve been sexually active for that entire time?
I don’t want my partner to think I’ve been unfaithful, and honestly, I can’t help but feel alienated. I read that blood and urine tests often come back negative because they’re not as reliable, and that the only definitive test is to take a sample directly from the sore. So, is it possible that my partner has the virus but it’s dormant, and the test just didn’t detect it?
Any advice, insights, or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!