so i’m an electrician and on job sites you just can’t show it. coworkers don’t really get chronic stuff, and clients definitely don’t want to see you struggling. so i’ll catch myself holding my breath through nerve pain in my hands, slowing down just enough that nobody notices, forcing normal posture when my back wants to give out. by end of day my pain’s usually a 5 or 6.
but then the next 2-3 days i’m completely crashed, like a 7 or 8, barely moving. it’s way worse than if i’d just… worked at my actual pace. i think the stress of hiding it alone does something to the fibromyalgia, like the nervous system gets more sensitized when i’m constantly bracing.
plus i’m not pacing right because i’m pacing to look normal, not to actually manage the pain. anyone else notice this pattern? is it the masking itself that makes flares worse, or is it just that you’re pushing harder than you should be?