i learned this word, ‘matrescence,’ the other day. apparently it’s like, the transition to motherhood. a becoming. and i just… i cried for like, 20 minutes straight.
not even really sad tears, just… overwhelming. i’m 32 weeks pregnant now and the unpredictability I felt early on w/ the nausea is back, but it’s different. it’s not just my body anymore, it’s everything. the logistics of the house, the baby gear arriving, the endless questions about feeding and sleeping.
it feels like there’s no solid ground. i keep trying to research things, you know? look up the best stroller, the latest sleep advice, but it all feels like trying to build a sandcastle in a hurricane. none of it lands because i can’t get a handle on what’s coming next.
one day i’m okay, the next i’m just staring at the wall. is this what they mean by matrescence? like, is this whole unraveling feeling the actual ‘becoming’? how did you guys work through that feeling of just… losing ur footing entirely?