Resting before I'm tired, still hasn't clicked

my PT professors drilled this into me 20 years ago. rest before fatigue hits, not after. energy conservation 101, I taught it for two decades. I still can’t do it for myself.

last Tuesday I felt fine at 2pm. genuinely fine, the kind of fine that made me think maybe I’m turning a corner. so I did laundry, then dishes, then answered emails I’d been putting off. nothing that would’ve registered as “pushing it” to anyone watching.

by 4pm my resting HR was climbing and I didn’t notice until it was already too late to bank the rest I needed. spent Wed and Thu on the floor. the gap isn’t knowledge. it’s that feeling fine is exactly when the discipline is hardest, because there’s no signal telling you to stop.

you’re supposed to rest into the good feeling, not wait for it to turn. eighteen months in and I still treat “feeling ok” as permission instead of the actual warning sign it is. does this ever become automatic, or is it always going to be a decision you have to make on purpose, every single time?