saturday felt okay. not great, but okay - walked to the library, spent maybe twenty minutes in the stacks, made dinner standing up. nothing big. by sunday morning the fog came back.
thick fog where i can’t think straight, can’t form sentences. POTS doing its thing - heart rate jumping the second i’m not flat in bed. i know what this is. PEM.
i know i’ll probably feel like shit for four or five days. logically i know the good days still exist somewhere, that this is just the cost of doing one normal afternoon. but lying there unable to read because my brain won’t focus, all that logic feels fake. and here’s the question i can’t shake - do you ever find hope on a crash day itself, or is it always something you come back to later?
like, can you actually sit with the bad day and still feel like the future isn’t just more of this? or does hope always have to wait until day three when your body decides it might work again?