saturday felt okay. not great, but okay. walked to the library, spent maybe twenty minutes in the stacks, made dinner standing up. sunday morning i thought i’d dodged it.
by afternoon i couldn’t remember why i went into the kitchen. couldn’t find the words. the brain fog wasn’t like my baseline, which i can kind of work around. this was different.
thicker. its own texture. i think there’s something about crash days that makes cognitive dysfunction hit harder. the fatigue gets teeth.
PEM flares and my whole system goes offline at once. dysautonomia spikes, heart rate does the jumping thing, and then my brain stops working clearly. what kills me is the hopelessness part. on a regular bad day i can think through what triggered it, maybe spot patterns.
on a crash day? can’t even do that. can’t track anything. can’t figure out what i did different.
my neuro keeps lumping it all under fatigue when i try to describe it. does anyone else notice cognitive fog changes quality on crash days? or is it just the same symptom and i’m overthinking it?